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Post by Gahrok on Nov 29, 2007 23:30:21 GMT -4
Ok, the majority looks good however the history definitely needs a bit more length and detail and from what I know people appear the same as they died upon reaching soul society. If theres a specific reason his appearance changed perhaps you want to elaborate on that, if not It needs to be changed. Other then that I'd say perhaps the personality could stand a little more detail, its sort of on the very edge. And I'd say for an academy student the RP sample will definetely be sufficient. So just make those few changes and we'll be in business
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Kazama
Underling
13th Division Captain
Posts: 70
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Post by Kazama on Nov 30, 2007 22:50:48 GMT -4
Bad Gahrok! You didn't notice that I didn't have a sealed zanpakuto release. And i was wanting to add more personality so I did! yay.
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Post by Gahrok on Dec 1, 2007 1:44:15 GMT -4
Alright so the personality is definetley good now, but the other issue I brought up hasn't been adressed. First your history needs a little bit of filling out I think, I know your a good rp'er so I' m sure you can scrounge up a little more detail into his motivations for suicide and flesh out a few more highlights of his life. Other then that looks good my friend.
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Kazama
Underling
13th Division Captain
Posts: 70
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Post by Kazama on Dec 1, 2007 14:00:09 GMT -4
Well I added a few sentences and im sitting here thinking about what to write and I really can't think of anything.
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Post by Gahrok on Dec 1, 2007 19:35:45 GMT -4
Alright well, since he's an academy student its not a necessity that your history is that indepth so I think it'll be ok.
-Accepted.
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Post by GoldenKitten on Apr 10, 2009 2:22:29 GMT -4
Moved to denied since it was deleted.
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